Skip to content

Got a good photo of Sepp Blatter with black people? Send it to us at

Don’t worry, you can get back into your grass skirt right after this press conference


Look, when you asked if I wanted a black man’s balls pressed against my face…

"That's his hand on my shoulder, right?"

That’s great, now do ‘You Sexy Thing’!

"Can you dance, too?"

I’ve caught another one!

"Get the net, this one's wearing a tie!"

You think this is good, wait till I do my face

"Look, black hands! No, wait, Jazz hands! Er, what is it again?"

I don’t care, I’m not taking my eyes off the valuables

"Now both of you stand there and look uncomfortable. Good."

Now get out there and tell them how awesome I am!

"One word out of place and I'll have you sent back"